torek, 27. februar 2018

Day 132: Illness and minds 2

It't not so hart to work what I doing, but I'm not still fast enough, but I try and do fast as possible. But it't time when I was so fast and is time when I'm tired and I don't want work anymore and I want be with myself. Then I don't want to chat with anyone and if he ask me anything I ignore him.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore him when he ask me when I'm tired. When and as I see myself to ignore him when he ask me when I'm tired, I stop and breath. I realise that I ignore him when I feel tired and I know that he must know what he ask me and know that if I told him anything or not, there is not difference for him. I was have a grandmother who has dementia and I was the person who steal her money. Yes, this is typically for sick people with this illness. And I told her, that I'm not steal her anything, but I was guilty and since there I don't want to argue with people who don't understand and don't listen me and ignore them. It is better than lost energy for them. But in beginning I don't know if person understand me or not, so I want to explain them. But next time I try ignore them. I commit myself that next time anyone ask me something I explain them once, and if they don't understand not lost my energy anymore, but not ignore them, but tell, that any other person can explain them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate explain over and over the same stuff, but I see that I ask other people same over and over till I'm not sure. When and as I see myself to hate explain same stuff over and over, but see that I ask other people same stuff over and over, I stop and breath. I realise that I have what I do to other people, so I must firstly change myself and then I hate other people what they do. So, I commit myself that I ask only once if I don't understand, and if other people ask me first time I explain and then if they ask me more than 3 times I ignore them or tell them that they must to know since now.

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